An automobile mechanic writes: I have a co-worker who has such a negative approach to everything that he tends to draw me, and everyone around him, down to his level of thinking.  I come into work feeling just fine and after five minutes of listening to him complain about everything from the weather to the state of the nation, I find myself kidnapped by his low energy and my good day takes a nose dive. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not.  He has a bumper sticker on his car that says, “Well I’m not a total failure.  At least I can serve as a bad example!”  He’s a good guy but he drives me crazy!

Working With Spirit: Your co-worker sounds like Eye-ore from Winne the Pooh – sweet in nature, but a downer go be around.  He has simply developed a habit of focusing on the dark side of every situation and it is a given that you can’t do much to help him see life differently unless he chooses to change his own thought pattern.   However, you can do a lot to help keep your own energy from being drained.  

The first step is to love him – right where he is, without judgment.    Accept and allow your negative co-worker to be who he is and allow yourself to be who you are.  I am not suggesting that you “tolerate” him; I am suggesting that you “allow” him and there really is a difference. 

For your own joy of life, you may want to simply remove yourself from his personal space whenever you can.   Maybe that will mean getting right to work instead of starting your day at the coffee pot.  You can just as easily break for coffee a little later when your friend is busy.  Make sure that you have plans for lunch or stagger your lunch hour so that he isn’t taking his lunch break at the same time you are.  If you stay alert, you can manage most of the time to stay out of "Eye-ore's" range and if you do that, you are not being mean, you are simply being who you are and allowing him to be who he is.   

If he does manage to trap you in negative conversation, it will help you to learn how to shift your own thinking away from what he is saying.  It really is easier than you think to refuse to fill your mind with negativity.  As soon as anyone in your life begins to take a conversation in a direction that makes you uncomfortable, begin to think about the good things in your life – all those little blessings for which you are grateful.  Your good thoughts will literally block out the negative words being spoken by the person right in front of you.

You can’t change what anyone else says or does but you have ultimate control over the information that you allow your mind to receive.  You are blessed, and you know it.

A colleen writes: I am of Irish heritage and I have always enjoyed sharing the fun of St. Patrick’s Day with my co-workers on March 17th.  I usually bake cup cakes with green icing to bring in for a treat and print out some Irish blessings to give to each person in my office.  Of course I always dress in green and have been known to hum some favorite Irish songs as I go about my work.  Most of my friends in the office enjoy this special celebration but one man apparently does not.  Last year he cast me some pretty mean glances.  Because of that, I don’t know whether to indulge in this little pleasure of mine this year again or not.  What do you think?

Working With Spirit: A popular Irish Blessing that could serve you here is “There is not a way into the woods that there is not also a way out of.”   Lots of people arbitrarily “become” Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, just because they want to get in on the fun that their Irish friends are having. Fortunately for you, you are the genuine article and don’t have to pretend. 

Your sensitivity to your co-worker speaks well for you.  This man could have had a bad experience in his life that he has mentally connected with being Irish.  Perhaps an Irish bully was unkind to him as a child or he was once jilted by an Irish lass.  Maybe he once got food poisoning from eating corned beef and cabbage.  We could speculate about the reasons for his attitude all day, but you will never know until you ask him.  Then, depending on his answer, you can decide whether or not to tone down your celebration.  

It is a loving act on your part to ask this man to express his preferences but unless you uncover a real tragedy, there really is no need for you to stop making the fun-loving gestures on St. Patrick’s Day that you and your other co-workers so much enjoy.  Perhaps toning your celebration down a little will be enough to show that you respect this one colleagues feelings.  You can still wear green and treat your colleagues to cupcakes with green icing and bestow your Irish Blessings on those who wish to receive them.  There is nothing Universally offensive in any of those activities.

Our purpose on this earth, as interconnected beings, is to be joyful and grateful for the experience of being human.  Always be as kind and considerate as you can be in every circumstance - and - also share your joy with those who are blessed by your playful heart. 

Working With Spirit: Through Spirit, we are all connected to each other and so when we are doing something harmful to someone else, we are also hurting ourselves.  Something deep within you has "Awakened" to that knowledge.  All that separates you from your co-workers is that they are still asleep when it comes to the issue of gossip.

You might try this little trick – when someone starts to gossip about something that isn't kind, switch the subject in mid-stream from bad gossip to good gossip.  There is always something good happening in an office.  A colleague is newly engaged and there is a secret shower in the works, the quarterly reports were really good and there is speculation about bonuses, the company bowling team is on a winning streak.  Generally someone who likes to gossip doesn’t care what he or she gossips about so, if your good gossip is juicy enough, your co-workers will pick it up and run with it.  And as soon as it takes hold, watch everybody’s energy go up.  When you get really good at switching from hurtful gossip to fun gossip, you will have acquired a great talent.

It will give you some comfort to know that one person in an office, focused on what is good and kind instead of what is mean and hurtful, can influence a positive change in the way others around them behave.  There is nothing quite so compelling as a good example.  You may find that you are not the only one who feels the way you do, but no one else has had the courage (yet) to stop the vicious cycle of gossip.  You can set the new standard any day that you choose by simply refusing to participate in hurtful behaviors.